Atlanta Divorce Mediation Centers

 In previous posts we have covered all of the different abusive tactics in divorcing couples and how they can devastate a family in the divorce court process. Today in part 5 we will discuss why mediate to avoid divorce court is so important with this type of relational dynamic in the marriage.

Basically, abusive spouses generally lack respect for authority, (i.e. Judicial Officers, such as Judges) therefore court ordered appearances and financial and custodial court ordered decrees and settlements hold far less motivation for them to uphold than a mediated agreement that the abuser contributes to. As a matter of fact, ordered requirements are often the fuel that fires an Abuser to mis-behave and do everything OTHER than follow the decree (i.e. delayed alimony or child support payments, not following the custodial schedule, not separating assets by title in a timely manner, etc…)

 If a controlling person has input and control over what they agree to do rather than what they are ordered to do, they are much more likely to uphold the conditions of the agreement. What good is a court ordered settlement that is ignored by an abusive ex-spouse that requires tens of thousands of dollars to enforce post trial? Mediated agreements are more often followed by Abusers versus court mandates. If safety is an issue, a “shuttle” format can be used in a mediation session with parties in separate rooms, and safety measures taken.

 We advise clients in abusive marriages to stay out of court when at all possible. Swift mediated settlements result in less time in the process for potential abuse to occur. Abusers are notorious for dragging divorce proceedings out for unreasonable amounts of time, usually years and legal costs in these cases can range into the hundreds of thousands of dollars. When mediated early on in the process, costs are substantially less versus trials. Also because of the unpredictability of the outcome of a trial, it is much better for the parties to avoid a trial altogether.

More information on this topic in our new book Family Divorce 101 -A Guide to What Divorcing Families Should Know

A Guide to What Divorcing Families Should Know

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or our book for Therapists: Family Divorce Therapy 101 -A Clinician’s Guide to Best Practices for Treating Families Pre/During/Post Divorce (Amazon)

this divorce book is for counselors and coaches who have clients who are considering divorce

More divorce support, advice and tips in Transitions Divorce® Prep Workbook

Transitions Divorce® Prep Workbook contains information on how to avoid costly pitfalls in divorce cases

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Disclaimer: This is my personal blog. The opinions I express here do not necessarily represent those of my organization, Transitions Resource, LLC. The information I provide is on an as-is basis. I make no representations as to accuracy, completeness, suitability, or validity of any information on this blog and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries, or damages arising from its use.

The post Abuse In Divorce-Why Mediate? Part 5 first appeared on Divorce Mediation Center.