Children up to the age of 18 months must have security and stability in their developing relationships with their parents. The ability for the child to adjust to separation from one parent to be with the other can be well tolerated provided that BOTH parents have been equally involved in the primary caregiver tasks since the child’s birth.

If this is not the case, and there is an imbalance in past established patterns of care-giving, it is recommended that separation from the dominant primary caregiver be very slowly incorporated into the post divorce parenting plan.

Parents should start with frequent (daily), short visits alone (1 to 2 hours) by the non-dominant non-primary parent with no overnight stays for at least six to nine months until the child can feel comfortable and secure with extended absences from the dominant primary caregiver. During this time frame the non-primary parent should be participating in daily rituals such as feeding, playing, bathing and sleeping so that the child can become accustomed to them as a caregiver.

After 2 months, the daily visits can be switched to every-other-day visits and extended to 4 to 6 hours. Once the child has established the ability to be apart from the primary caregiver, overnights with one night at a time can be incorporated into the schedule. Two overnights a week can be incorporated. It is most important during this period that consistent waking/sleeping/eating habits are maintained by both households once overnights are incorporated into the schedule.

An example of this schedule may look like this and repeated every two weeks

Parent 1 is primary/ Parent 2 is non-primary

Week 1:

Sunday-Parent 1

Monday-Parent 2 overnight

Tuesday-Parent 1

Wednesday-Parent 1 (4-6 hour visit with Parent 2)

Thursday-Parent 1

Friday- Parent 2 overnight

Saturday-Parent 1

Week 2 :

Sunday-Parent 1

Monday- Parent 1

Tuesday-Parent 2 overnight

Wednesday-Parent 1

Thursday-Parent 1 (4-6 hour visit with Parent 2)

Friday- Parent 1

Saturday-Parent 2 overnight

In next week’s blog we will cover recommendations for pre-school aged children.

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The post Recommended Divorce Parenting Plans for Infants to 3 Year Olds first appeared on Divorce Mediation Center.