Each year in the U.S., over three-quarters of a million people go through the painful process of divorce.

Divorce affects not only the two partners; it also affects children, family, friends, and even co-workers.

Even though divorce represents such a huge disruption in the lives of so many, the prospect of remaining married to a person who causes such large amounts of pain and anguish is enough to compel those people to file for divorce.

Divorce knows no prejudice. Financial and racial status has not been shown to either increase or decrease a couple’s chances for a marriage to end in divorce.

The individual situation of the couple entering divorce varies considerably. These variables include things like whether there are natural, adopted or step-children involved.

The condition and age of the children matters, too. If a child is disabled in any way or has special needs, their continuing care will be a top priority during the divorce process.

Assets are another set of complexities during a divorce.

Assets may be as straightforward as a bank account, a house, and a car.

Or they can get more complicated, like a retirement plan or investment account. Still other assets pose more complications, like a shared ownership small business, interests in third party ventures, timeshares, and more.

As you can see, divorces address every detail to fair disbursement of assets, as well as shared responsibilities for dependents. That’s why, whether you’re considering divorce mediation or divorce litigation, it’s essential to have an experienced team of experts to assist you.

The process of divorce litigation varies from state to state, due to individual state laws and regulations. In general, though, divorce litigation follows a common court process within the United States.

The Divorce mediation process is also bound by state laws but allows the family to completely avoid the court process. Divorce mediation is not a “free for all” where a spouse can lose all control of what’s happening.

The main differences between divorce litigation and divorce mediation can be summed up in a few comparative pros and cons.

Divorce litigation is much more expensive than divorce mediation.

Divorce litigation costs include things like multiple in-person and telephone consultations, meetings, time off work for court appearances, travel expenses, discovery and trial expenses.

In divorce litigation, you can expect to spend upwards of $50,000 between the two parties in the marriage.

Divorce litigation usually involves an acrimonious divorce, where the two parties are at odds with one another for years even decades post-divorce.

Efforts to resolve differences are not made, so the entire process is typically fraught with angst, fear, anger, and stress.

The negative emotional impact of a divorce litigation is high for all parties concerned, including, and most importantly, any children of the marriage.

In fact, kids are often used as leverage in acrimonious divorce litigation.

Kids are, by far, the ones most heavily impacted by divorce litigation.

In many cases, the court will order that children be interviewed, and/or have psychological impact evaluations conducted on them. These evaluations can cost a family on average $15,000-$20,000 in additional fees that the family has to pay.

In a divorce litigation, the Judge decides how assets will be allocated.

The Judge decides the child custody arrangements.

The Judge decides the schedule for child visitation rights for the non-custodial parent.

The Judge decides if and how much spousal support will be paid. The Judge decides how much child support will be paid based on state law child support schedules.

When you opt for divorce litigation, your court records are a matter of public record.

This includes your financial records.

All filings made are put on public record, and may even appear in online searches.

In a divorce litigation, you are on the court’s timetable.

When the judge makes an order for you to appear at a status conference or a trial, you must be present or face legal punishment.

The divorce case proceeds as slow or fast as the court decides, not you.

In a divorce litigation, you’ll be told—not consulted with—regarding the disbursement of property, child custody and other decisions relating to your divorce.

Divorce litigation is the worst version of divorce that exists. Divorce is bad enough. Divorce litigation makes the experience even more toxic.

Divorce mediation costs thousands of dollars less than divorce litigation.

Saving money by choosing mediation over litigation frees up money for urgent costs post-divorce, like moving expenses, down payments on a new home or rental residence, paying for childcare, and more.

The interests of the children will be determined by you and your spouse, not by the Judge. Who knows better than you what conditions will allow your children to thrive post-divorce?

Everything on the table will be negotiated in a practical, organized manner by you, and your spouse and your Attorneys if you wish them to be present.

Everything from who gets the family dog to how the family business will be run will be discussed and determined in a calm, unbiased way during a divorce mediation.

The timing is in your control.

With divorce mediation, you can take as much time or as little time as needed to come up with a fair agreement.

If business or other scheduling conflicts arise, mediation appointments can be adjusted with a simple phone call.

Your affairs are private with a divorce mediation.

There is no public forum where your reputation can be sullied.

The mediation takes place in a private room, where only the relevant parties are in attendance.

Mediation terms are flexible. Since both parties are trying to come up with a situation that works best for everyone, decisions can be customized to your family’s needs.

Mediators don’t take sides. In a divorce mediation, all concerns from both parties are held in equal importance. There is no “right and wrong” in a divorce mediation.

Perhaps the single most revealing difference between divorce litigation and divorce mediation is that in a litigation, parties fight for their own interests.

In a mediation setting, parties discuss and negotiate for the fair decisions of everyone involved.

Which scenario sounds better to you?

The post The Difference Between Divorce Mediation and Divorce Litigation first appeared on Divorce Mediation Center.