(or When is Divorce Mediation Not Recommended?) There is a common misconception among the masses that high conflict relationships are not candidates for mediating a divorce.

Actually, an effective Mediator is skilled at helping all sorts of individual relational dynamics.

But it is recommended ESPECIALLY in high conflict relationships where the family is in danger of great financial devastation and emotional trauma associated with spouses drawing the process out and using the legal court process as an additional forum to control or abuse a spouse.

In fact, more and more Superior Courts are mandating that every case attempt a mediation BEFORE wasting the court’s time and energy with a trial.

Mediators can guide a family through the negotiation process in separate rooms so that each partner has a chance to feel comfortable to express their concerns and needs and be able to make rational decisions freely.

We are often asked “How to handle divorce mediation”, “How to win in divorce mediation”, “How to survive and thrive through divorce mediation” when there are elements of these dynamics in the marriage.

First of all, in divorce mediation there is no “winner” or “loser”, that is a concept associated with the litigated court process.

Our service centers equip both spouses with information explaining how divorce settlements are handled and what they might expect as a fair settlement for both partners, the Mediator then helps the spouses fine-tune a customized settlement specific to their family.

If needed Attorneys can attend the mediation session for support.

How to win in divorce mediation especially when these relational dynamics are in play is to enable the controlling partner to make decisions for themselves about what they are willing to settle for.

History has shown that an individual who has a say in what they are willing to agree to as far as asset division, alimony/spousal support and child support has a far greater outcome for fulfilling those agreements down the road.

The psychology behind what makes a controlling person do what they do, is it needs to be their idea, their consent, not decided by someone else. A mediated divorce delivers just that.

How to lose in divorce is to turn over all of the power to the controlling spouse to use the legal court process to financially drain family funds and further emotionally wound their spouse.

The family is far too vulnerable and financial and further emotional devastation is often the outcome.

And many times narcissistic personalities don’t acknowledge the authority of court orders and the family finds itself back in continual costly court hearings in order to collect what is due.

The key to thriving through divorce when there is an imbalance of power in the relationship is to maximize holding family funds intact with the short, low-cost divorce process of mediation.

This enables both spouses and the family to thrive post-divorce.

www.DivorceMediationCenter.org

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