Abuse in Divorcing Couples-Part 1-Financial Abuse



Financial abuse in divorce can occur when the level of control is imbalanced between partners in a marriage and there is some form of abuse (physical or emotional). There are several common methods of abuse tactics in divorcing couples that may arise. Today we address financial abuse. The behaviors we outline are an escalation of the abusers attempts to maintain control and possession when they realize these are slipping away as their partner gains independence.

Many times they will escalate to a very unreasonable, toxic and even dangerous level as the finality of the impending divorce approaches. For those targets in a violent relationship, statistics have shown the first 24 months post separation and/or divorce can be the most dangerous for the target and safety measures should be taken seriously and put into place.

The forms of abuse through the judicial divorce process can cover one or all areas of known abuse including financial abuse, verbal/emotional abuse, physical abuse and even legal abuse.

Financial Abuse includes: 

• Spouses move/hide/withhold family assets (money, vehicles, housing)
• Provide false misleading financial information for financial negotiations
• Incur additional debt under joint credit cards to damage credit ranking and create financial hardship for their spouse
• Leave Spouse temporarily without financial means to provide for self and children
• Take actions to bankrupt their spouse and family (take out additional lines of credit, etc.)

When these tactics are employed a victimized spouse can find themselves indigent, without means and oftentimes agrees to a divorce financial settlement that is far less than what the law entitles them to, simply out of desperation. Our guidance on this topic attempts to educate those considering divorce on these potentials so that they can take extra precaution in preparing for these scenarios.

How to respond to financial abuse: 

• Gather and prepare financials well in advance of contacting an Attorney or Mediation Center and filing for divorce so that the financial records are documented before the abusive spouse has the ability to manipulate, hide or move them. When financial information is gathered in advance, it not only reduces the opportunity for financial abuse, but it minimizes the likelihood of an extended time in the legal process and greatly reduces the grossly exaggerated costs to recover them through legal means
• Obtain separate credit cards in one name only and eliminate joint accounts and document the date this is finalized
• Establish an emergency savings account in one name only should it be needed once the divorce process is started

We continue to maintain that a family can avoid all of the potential for the aforementioned abuse when choosing an alternative method of divorce through mediation IF both spouses commit to participating in the mediation process. Families that have elements of abuse should try to avoid the litigious divorce court process if at all possible.

More information on this topic in our upcoming publication available on Amazon.com after July 30, 2015 Family Divorce Therapy 101-A Clinician’s Guide to Best Practices for Treating Families Pre/During/Post Divorce

More divorce support, advice and tips in preparing for divorce in Transitions Divorce® Prep Workbook

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Disclaimer: This is my personal blog. The opinions I express here do not necessarily represent those of my organization, Transitions Resource, LLC. The information I provide is on an as-is basis. I make no representations as to accuracy, completeness, suitability, or validity of any information on this blog and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries, or damages arising from its use.