Transitions Divorce® Prep Workbook contains information on how to avoid costly pitfalls in divorce cases

Are you choosing the right method of divorce for your family? Most families considering divorce do not realize that there are a variety of different divorce methods that have a large discrepancy in average cost per method. Here we will explain your different choices to show you how to choose the right divorce method for your family.

Most couples are only familiar with the Litigated Divorce Method , where each spouse hires a Divorce Attorney. According to the Atlanta Journal Constitution in 2013 the average litigated divorce case in Georgia took 18-24 months and cost a family $50,000 to $100,000++. In the Litigated Divorce Method an attorney representing each spouse pursues a divorce settlement judgment that is in the best interest of their own client through court proceedings and a trial. Multiple court appearances called “status conferences” are required as are multiple days of pre-trial depositions, possibly several mediation days, then several days in court for the actual trial. This is an adversarial process that can have long-term devastating financial and emotional repercussions to the family.

There are in fact 2 other methods a family has to choose from. These methods have a far lower impact on the family checkbook and greatly decrease the level of conflict between spouses.

The Transitions Divorce® Method, offered exclusively by Transitions Resource Divorce Mediation Centers usually costs $2500 to $7000 and takes 2 to 4 months to complete. This method is a low conflict process where an impartial professional Accountant and Mediator work with the spouses to reach an efficient financial and custodial settlement on behalf of the best interest of the family as a whole and then 2 Attorneys (representing each spouse) prepare and file the necessary legal documents. This process is non-adversarial and allows the family to completely avoid the litigated divorce court process.

The Collaborative Divorce Method usually costs $25,000 to $40,000 and takes 6 to 9 months to complete. This method is a cooperative method where a team of 7 or 8 professionals (3 representing each spouse) and 1 or 2 representing the minor children work together to reach a fair and equitable financial and custodial settlement. Each Spouse’s team consists of a financial planner, professional counselor and attorney. Minor children also have a professional counselor that works with the 2 teams to help devise an appropriate parenting plan/custody agreement. In some cases an Attorney called a Guardian Ad-Litem can also serve on the minor children’s team to represent the legal interests of the children. This process may also include some required court appearances (“status conferences”) and several formal mediation sessions.

While costs vary dramatically between the methods, what goes unrecognized by families pre-divorce and is even MORE important is that while the financial impact of their choice is one thing, the emotional and relational impact of the method of their choice can actually have lifelong effects on not only the spouses but also on the children. When a family is relationally broken, adding a contentious legal battle on top of those strained relationships can lead to long-term psychological effects never anticipated.

It is not uncommon for families of divorce to experience sadness with the grief associated with the change, but a high-conflict legal battle often causes long-term depression, anxiety, anger and contention and can even result in emotional/psychological breakdowns, panic attacks, financial ruin and in extreme cases even suicide. Professionals in the psychological industry have known for years the devastation a high-conflict divorce can cause to the entire family and for years after a divorce.

The divorce process should be viewed as a business process for the family. When a family chooses a gentler method of transition that is family focused with thoughtful strategies, the tone is set for future cooperation when co-parenting children down the road. It is not only a healthy approach for both partners but also a perfect opportunity to model to their children how two mature adults deal with a problem head-on, practically and with an end goal of everyone’s best interest in mind. After all, both parents will want to be able to share in the children’s significant events down the road such as performances, recitals, birthdays, graduations, weddings and births of the grandchildren. If anger, hostility and sadness are present, a better investment to resolve these issues is with a professional counselor, not the legal divorce court arena (and counseling services are a heck of a lot cheaper!).

For more information on this topic please buy our new book Family Divorce 101 -A Guide to What Divorcing Families Should Know or our book for Therapists:   Family Divorce Therapy 101 -A Clinician’s Guide to Best Practices for Treating Families Pre/During/Post Divorce (Amazon)  

Disclosure of Material Connection : I have not received any compensation for writing this post. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR. Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Disclaimer: This is my personal blog. The opinions I express here do not necessarily represent those of my organization, Transitions Resource, LLC. The information I provide is on an as-is basis. I make no representations as to accuracy, completeness, suitability, or validity of any information on this blog and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries, or damages arising from its use.

The post How to Choose the RIGHT Divorce Method first appeared on Divorce Mediation Center.