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How to Handle a Difficult and Uncooperative Co-Parent
Co-Parenting Guide
If you have a Co-Parent that is difficult and uncooperative, here are some helpful tips. Take the high road and refuse to react emotionally to the difficult behavior. Set higher standards of cooperation for yourself and refuse to engage in the conflict.
When you anticipate the difficult behavior and decide in advance how you will handle the situation in a positive way, things can work in your favor. Prepare for multiple possible options and be willing to accept all of the possible outcomes. Be sensitive to what your co-parent is going through and try to put yourself in their position.
Examine your own behavior. Are you using a tone that may be putting them on the defensive? Are you using blaming, threatening or inflammatory words or phrases? Pro-actively work on improving your choice of words and inflection of voice. Exercise the golden rule “ Speak to others as you would have them speak to you. ” Sometimes it is helpful to practice what you will say out loud and imagine that you are talking to a friend or co-worker to be mindful of your tone and inflection. Prepare several options you can offer your co-parent that gives them a choice for solutions.
Start to adapt a cooperative attitude toward your co-parent. Show your goodwill by making sure your co-parent is invited to events that are important to your child and share pictures or videos when they cannot attend.
As a parent and important role model to your children of handling conflict, remember these points:
- Take responsibility and let kids be kids
- Put your child at the TOP of your priority list
- Maintain healthy boundaries with your co-parent
- Take steps to understand and manage your anger
- Develop a business-like attitude when dealing with your co-parent
- Seek solutions instead of arguments
- Model good self care as a mentor for your child
- Respect and value your co-parents role in your child’s life
- Allow your child to talk openly about their parents in both homes
- Never threaten the other parent in the presence of the children
- Offer encouragement and support to your child’s relationship with their other parent and permission to talk about how they feel
For more information on this topic please buy our new book Family Divorce 101 -A Guide to What Divorcing Families Should Know or our book for Therapists: Family Divorce Therapy 101 -A Clinician’s Guide to Best Practices for Treating Families Pre/During/Post Divorce (Amazon)
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Disclaimer: This is my personal blog. The opinions I express here do not necessarily represent those of my organization, Transitions Resource, LLC. The information I provide is on an as-is basis. I make no representations as to accuracy, completeness, suitability, or validity of any information on this blog and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries, or damages arising from its use.
The post How to Handle a Difficult and Uncooperative Co-Parent first appeared on Divorce Mediation Center.
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